The only way to know what we want is to be crystal clear about what we don’t. Yes, I said it—the ONLY way.
Do not forget that you became fascinated by something, discovered a passion, or decided to follow a dream only by not having it, knowing it, or in the absence of it. Therefore, you knew what you wanted by being where you didn’t want to be.
Wrong, doesn’t feel good. Lack is painful and comparison is discomforting. However, that is the best place to start creating something new.
It sounds crazy, I know. Who on Earth would like to feel like crap (pardon my French) and find that to be wonderful? Well, many very successful and happy people keep getting back there, to where everything seems wrong. The only difference is that they do not stay there.
The missing link between them and you/me is that we tend to milk ourselves in the things we do not want to experience instead of focusing on what we really want, which is getting clearer and more precise thanks to the discomfort, pain, or lack we are experiencing. We stay in the sucky part.
If it sucks, why do we insist on keeping the situation, place, person, emotion, etc. present and active on our mind? Quick answer, because we are insane. The honest answer, because we know that situation and we prefer that. Yes, it’s easier to relive a day, a moment in life, or a situation, than to create a new one. It feels familiar and we prefer that, rather than wander into something new―it requires effort!
It’s more comfortable to repeat it automatically without any effort. The downside is that, thanks to our focus on it, we managed to recreate it in our human experience all over again!
According to research done by the National Science Foundation, the human brain thinks an average of 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 95% are exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before! In other words, we (you and I included) are lazy!
However, you are not inanimate and powerless. As you can pick up the remote and change the TV channel because you hate the infomercials, you can also take control of the wheel of your mind and make a different decision.
What should I think then? You may ask.
The answers will differ, but I will answer with another question: Have you ever daydreamed? Was it easy? Was it fun? I dare to say that for 99.9% of us, daydreaming was and is painless and effortless.
Daydream is exactly what you have to do once your automatic thought process begins. Choose the opposite and daydream! You have already been there, living that job that you don’t enjoy, or experiencing that relationship that feels empty. Do not bring it back to life in the theatre of your mind! Choose another movie and direct a new thought.
For just 17 seconds, create a new experience. Yes, I know it is not here, and it’s not your current experience, but that is why it is called daydreaming.
“A dream is not reality — Alice
But who’s to say which is which? — Mad Hatter”
Alice Through the Looking Glass
The only thing you need to do is to be aware of your thoughts and be ready to CREATE instead of letting your programmed discouraging train of thou